夜归

夜晚的公路上，两盏车头灯照亮前方。站在同一个地方，隔几分钟就能看见一道刺眼的光、一股沉重的声音。

树木仿佛被干扰了一下，然后继续沉睡。

那些夜归的人，用明亮的刀划过夜晚，仿佛正在宣泄一天的不满遭遇。

站在高处，突然觉得很冷。

事隔三年，如今仍然记得站在小丘上看夜景的感觉。毫不绚丽的小城夜景，依然拥有一种冷淡却坚韧的色彩。应该是长大了，才能从这景中看出夜归人儿的苦。小时候，看见夜晚路上的车灯，就会很兴奋地猜测是不是爸妈要回来了。

如今，是一点点苦涩，加几分敬仰。

问少年

男生啊，
女生啊，
你们是化妆，
  还是化装？

Reel No. 1

发霉的柠檬掉落楼梯，2010浩然仔摄影

Stereo No. 1

门，2010浩然仔摄影

Juxtapose No. 1

苍蝇的影子和被鸟光顾过的香蕉皮，2010浩然仔摄影

问青天

太阳下山之前烘了烘云朵。微风吹来，下了两天也雨似乎故意暂停。

月圆了，中秋了吗？

每天的路

除了脚，路也要用心走。 

家庭主妇

爸爸的姐妹，她们都是普通的女人——那种你在街上到处都会见到的女人。她们谈女人的话题、穿auntie的衣服。她们好像个个女人那样大笑、好像个个女人那样煮饭、扫地、洗衣。

新年到了，她们两姐妹就会穿上红通通的衣服。

那小小家里播放的老歌，不知谁唱不知什么名。我一面听一面看着同辈的时尚衣着，回忆起儿时。

当你大了知道了应该帮忙，厨房却已容不下你的身躯。

当她们当你是自己儿子那样，叫你吃饭时，你便突然觉得她们并不一般。

D for diamond, D for death

Since Kimberly Process hit the world in 2003, the number of conflict diamonds have been reduced from 4% to 1%, but I think the knowledge about diamond mining is still poor in Malaysia.

To appreciate and learn about diamonds, let's begin with two clips:

Human greed makes even buying wedding ring a difficult task (set aside money). We have to stop and think and double-check before purchasing something that signifies love, happiness and promise - to make sure nobody suffers from love, happiness and promise. Although now some of the diamond trades fund African education and provide jobs (so you're welcome to spend money on legal diamonds!), black markets still exist.

Statistics are often superficial. To ensure that you do not trade marriage or happiness with others' suffering, I reckon the best way is to buy no diamond. After all, do you really need a piece of mineral to make promise?

For more, visit DiamondFacts.org and UN Conflict Diamonds; or watch Blood Diamond (2006).

树的精神

寄人篱下，学的就是解决问题和适应环境。

问题在眼前、别人不配合，在国外很多时候都是以回避解决。不晓得是因肤色而感自卑，还是自己的懦弱，还是前人的传统劝告，还是……总之，现在没有人会像周润发那样在《秋天的童话》（1987）里面那样搬马劈人了。也许，时代真的如王家卫电影里不断提到的那样了——

那些消逝了的岁月，仿佛隔着一块，积着灰尘的玻璃，看的到，抓不着。

尸体和种子

蜥蜴的死亡带来苍生*。

种子的生命带来花朵的凋谢。

*苍蝇的生命，哈哈。

花季

春天到了，花开。是不是到了国外才开始注意花朵？是因为马来西亚没有季节而疏忽，抑或是自己不懂得珍惜马来西亚的美？

在马来西亚也能看见的树开满了花，可是我一直找不出它的名字。

它仿佛站在原地等待我第二次探望（当然啦，树都没有脚的）。

走进一些，漆黑的背景和耀眼的灯光将它摆上舞台。

好一场免费的戏。

狗的精神

狗，这个字眼所带来的粗俗感恐怕比这只动物的精神来得重。

就算外国人学习比较积极，他们遇到读书和温习的时候都会比较懒惰。他们的态度映射了马来西亚新生代的求学态度。曾为人师长的话，想必常会遇到学生临考前问“老师，这次考试会出什么？”“老师，我这样回答的话是不是就可以满分？”“老师，回答可不可以用point form？”“老师……”这些问题，一样出现在今天的lecture上。

我无聊地任由这些问题包围着我。

很少问这种问题，有得读、觉得重要的就读。可是我还是认同朋友们的看法：问这些问题、算准总平均等等，都是量力而为的做法。所以，在此不是批评，而是共勉一则故事：

一天，一只狗和一名短跑健将赛跑。枪声一落，双双发足，结果狗先到了终点。短跑健将看着仍然向前跑的狗，对自己的失败百思不得其解。后来教练把狗拉回来，对短跑健将说：“你输了，因为你在起点上就盘算着要用多少力、留多少力，只要用里跑到终点就能了；这只狗呢，心里根本没有所谓‘目标’，它只管向前跑，向前跑。”

故事不用说得太白，大家也不用想得太深。而我则找不到故事出处……

感官

巴士上的墨镜和耳机

看见身边人人都戴上耳机和墨镜，我无奈地转头往外看。这现象不只发生在巴士上，就连街边、图书馆、火车站、百货公司都发生。 即使环境中的事物都是司空见惯、平白无奇的，难道大家就不会品尝冷气的呻吟、树枝的婆娑、太阳的能量、地上的影子和鸟儿的掠过吗？试问多少人俯身摸过草地，感受过那种“硅+纤维”的质感？自从我们穿上了鞋子之后，已经和环境有一面薄膜——如今人们还要阻塞耳目。 或自然声，或人造声，俱声也。人类有一词谓“音乐”，是因懂得从音中求悦。反过来想，只要我们将心中的愉悦输入身边的声音中，不管自然声或人造声，都能成为一种音乐。 如今我们已经能用厨具、垃圾桶作乐，想必也能用之以引擎声和雨声。

National Day + 1 （国庆一日后）

Let me write in English, for some may call this equal as all Malaysians speak English.

I walked down my daily route to the bus stop this morning. They were chirping, and I looked at them. Spring is coming, these are new bird species that I've never saw. Yet my head's bugging with things that happened before and during my country's National Day. Maybe those early birds were looking for the bugs in my mind. Let me talk about a film, 2010 by Peter Hyams (1984). In it there is a scene, where both American and Soviet astronauts watch the news that says USA and Soviet Union are at the brink of a nuclear war. The astronauts are instructed by their nation to stay on separate spaceships and avoid contact. There they are, 900 million km from Earth, knowing that they might not be friends with the people on the next spaceship anymore when their country start the war.

2010 (1984) from YouTube, have a start from 8.35 min.

And here I am, 6500 km away from my country, knowing that Chinese were told to balik kampung, that Wee Meng Chee（黄明志）being caught again, and that Chinese being attacked by Malays during the national parade.

The colours of our flag

I feel ashamed to think how foreigner think of us. I don't really know how to confront with other Malaysians here in another country. Maybe these conflicts are good because we will only be active when we're hit hard on their face. Are we Chinese good businessmen because we're good in minding our own business? It's good to have discussions and "likes" on Facebook, but it's better to have actions. Take Greenpeace for an example, the newsletters in my mailbox don't just update me from environmental issues, they encourage me to join and act. I couldn't really concentrate in the lectures today, not with these issues bugging in my head. My hope some birds would drop by and pick them off.